It's taken some time. But this feeling of dread, this knot in the pit of my stomach...is subsiding.

You see, when all this hit me, I came to a realization.

This stuff happens to me roughly every three years. In fact, it's been almost like clockwork, around the time-frame of May-July of the cycle, something happens that threatens my ability to sustain my stability.

I've stared down the barrel of potential homelessness before. Somehow, I've managed to overcome and move on. I believe I am also fulfilling that role in the cycle now.

To sum it up in numbers:

I make around $800 per month.
My monthly bills are around $550 per month.

This leaves $250 for food and other expenses.

Considering I've been eating well on around $50 bucks a month?

Yeah. Yeah I'd say I'm honestly doing alright.

----

The reason I'm posting this is two-fold. One, to let others know that I'm okay, and two, to remind myself that I'm okay. I'd spent all day in the throes of a very minor panic attack. I spent nine grueling hours at work with this terrible feeling of dread. I just spent about an hour pacing around the empty living room, giving myself a long, exhaustive soliloquy explaining what my fears are, and rationalizing them away to the best of my ability.

I know I can pay for this place.
I know nobody wants to kick me out for any reason. (I am taking care of the house and the cats).
I know my job is secure. Hell, I'm working on getting more hours, and potentially working on becoming a manager, which is guaranteed 40 hours per week. Also got offered a part time maintenance position for two nights a week. No idea when I start, but that's 15 hours right there, plus they'd have me close on the other nights I work.

So yeah. Not gonna get my hopes very high up, but things are at least looking far less grim these days.

--End Transmission--
Blinding every eye, I was